Building shaking whoa
What the fuck is this cali
Can I go home now
Basically I’m a few floors up so the building was swaying and rumbling…I grabbed on to the desk kind of confused like, this is some serious vertigo. Then I was like wait wait, this is an earthquake..COOL. Then this crazy ass lady walks out of her office all serious faced and was like, “there must be some construction going on upstairs.” Yea…Good one. Then I proceeded to hang out under a door frame for a few seconds…then took the stairs down for our evacuation which was fun except none of the office neighbors wanted to be friends. Then texted my cali grandma to tell her about the earthquake. Fin.
yeah man we had to evacuate. basically, my company was having an "all-hands meeting" in the westin hotel across the street from my building. i was in the shitter and not in the big room where the meeting was, and i started feeling shaking, all the toilets started flushing, and i was honestly like "wow, this is it huh... gettin seiced on the shitter playing angry birds" then i was like "welp, guess there are worse ways to go" and kinda just chilled there til i was done and when i walked out everyone was goin for the exits. then i walked around outside for like 45 mins talkin to jacobs bitties before i rolled back in. almost went to that happy hour 3 hours early though. --Arlington, VA
ReplyDeleteFredneck Quake
ReplyDeleteDat der an urfquake?
ya bud, dat der an urfquake
Frederick, MD
So it's the week before students arrive. Teachers are scrambling to move furniture, unpack boxes, and decorate because they've spent the entire professional week gossiping, bitching, and complaining. In the midst of one such gossip sesh, we feel a rumble. No big deal- it's the first week- it must be someone on the roof fixing something. But why is the whole building shaking? OMG- did my apple just fall off my desk? Why are people crying? Why does that teacher keep talking about 9-11? I'm pretty sure a plane is NOT headed for my elementary school. Do I hear a baby crying? Why am I under a desk right now? OH- because it's a 5.9 earthquake in Maryland....to which our principal announces, "Yes, that was an earthquake. Get under a desk!!!" after all shaking had ceased. Panic has officially set in. Teachers are now scrambling to call loved ones to check- in. Why am I laughing so hard? Is it because I've lived here my entire life and have only felt one other earthquake in my lifetime? Nope. It's because of the sheer look of panic across these women's faces and the amount of tears rolling down their cheeks. Don't worry- I'm ok but my apple is crushed.
ReplyDelete--Silver Spring, MD
The ground always shakes when I walk, so I didn't even feel it.
ReplyDeleteCollege Park MD
Earthquakes in the east
ReplyDeletesuper hot in the prairies
What the fuck, nature?
This old ass biddy
ReplyDeletehad to call ev'ry person
in her family.
I'm sure your cousin
in Florida is fine. God
damn go back to work.
The credit union I work in is on a campus with a bunch of other buildings. No one from my office walked out, but the building next to ours, mad people went outside. I didn't see anyone running, but lots of brisk walking. However, other people told me that in their buildings, people were legit running outside. One guy told me that he saw one lady crying hysterically and another trying to say she was having a stroke (he called bullshit on it though). I didn't really get to see any action cause I had to help all the people coming in saying things like, "in case another earthquake hits and I die, I want to make sure this check gets deposited." Meanwhile, the lady I work with, the aforementioned old ass biddy, was on the phone the whole time and didn't do any work for like 2 hours. She also doesn't know how to use Google, so I had to keep checking online for updates for her.
First visit to your blog. I like it. And no, YOUR welcome.
Dammit, I screwed that up. YOU'RE welcome.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteand for that, jackie, you get this little gem http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/index.php?date=050511
ReplyDeletedid you say florida like FLOOR IH DUH hahahahahahaha i am embarrassingly laughing at my desk. i <3 your haikus.
ReplyDeletehahaha wait, i know people say it like floor duh, but it's still three syllables right??
ReplyDelete