Would you like some dick in spicy sauce?

I am great at finding typos.  I really am.  Foreign food menus are like a piñata just waiting to explode with delicious typos.  China Fortune off Stonestreet Ave in Rockville however has taken the cake for menu typos.  I may never search for another.

More pictures from the same menu that just warm my heart.

otherwise NON

Travel Agent Account HAHA what does it meeean?

Puking Social?

 

WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?

Vodka Clean Up, Isle 10.

Things I will never buy store brand of:

 

Paper Towels [I generally find paper towels to be a frivilous purchase--but since this blog made me rich, I started buying paper towels.  However, I bought the giant brand and couldnt figure out what to do with the tissue paper I had bought]

 

Condoms [if the paper towels are any indication of...anything.]

 

Bacon [if you want pinky sized strips of fat, buy store brand.]

 

 

 

Things I will buy store brand of:

 

Vodka [I have yet to see vodka at the grocery store, but you bet yo ass i'm buyin it on day ONE.]

 

Puppies  [I'm impulsive.  sue me.]

 

Cheese [you just can't fuck up cheese.]

 

Baby Quiches [similar reasoning to the cheese.]

 

 

this picture made me feel pretty uncomfortable, and I wanted to share that feeling with all of you.

The people in my office eat shit.

Literally.  Look at this.  Not sure what person in their right mind would happily prance up to the kitchen table with fork and knife excited to dig into this pile of shit, but rest assured, it will be gone before noon. 

Read your groupons, my pretties.

I’m cheap + I also like doing fun things.  I = GROUPON WHORE.  I bought the groupon for half off the crime and punishment museum this past week cuz I mean—there’s a Ted Kaczynski exhibit and that’s gotta be entertaining.  So, I make plans with newguy to go this past Sunday since there was nothing else to do.  We have lunch in Chinatown…make our way to this museum.  I’m looking at our groupons on my phone, chillin in line, readin fine print…and then there it is:  “NOT VALID ON HOLIDAY WEEKENDS!”  What the fuck is Labor Day anyway?  Shouldn’t we be working on Labor Day?  Doesn’t it mean….WORK DAY?

We get out of line like we are too cool for museums and make our way to Ford’s Theatre.  Ok Honest Abe—pretty cool.  Right?  The place where he got shot in the back of the head?  Boring as a muhh fuhhh.  Seriously, I get history.  History is neat.  Looking at a theatre where there is no evidence of a murder and a bunch of abe Lincoln replicas and shit to read?  I’d rather wikipedia that bitch.  The staff was so excited to let us know that the presidential box was open for our viewing pleasure…you know what it was?  Chairs.  You know what there wasn’t?  Gruesome blood spatter.  How does someone get shot in the back of the head and there is NO BLOOD.  Fake ass Ford’s Theater.  Tourists are silly.  I’m really glad that was free. 

 
 

 

Stay tuned for my review of how boring the crime and punishment museum is.