I like some anonymity when I’m taking a shit.

I have the most awkward bathroom at work.  It’s two stalls.  Not like one where you can go solo, not like three where you can skip a stall and avoid someone identifying your shoes…two.  Two is SO awkward.  It’s the most awkward when you go in and someone is already in the other stall, you do your biz, and they are still sitting there.  Just chillin.  Probably playing words with friends.  But I feel like I need to haul ass to get out of the bathroom like they are just crossing their fingers that you’ll leave before something explosive happens.  Then it’s real awkward when someone walks in and WASHES THEIR HANDS FIRST just so you will hurry up and get out.  I like order.  I like for you to leave before I do if you’re in there first.  And no talking.  Now, none of this applies if I had an Ally McBeal style bathroom which I do want terribly.

 

Freefest changed my life. Not my wallet.

Notable Things from Freefest 

1. I bought a spicy chicken biscuit at Chick Fila while everyone used their free coupon for breakfast...Then managed to spend not a single dollar at freefest while somebody (everybody?) bought me beers all day. I am still reeeeally confused about this.
 
2. The cops patrolling the tailgate wearing baseball caps, sunglasses, with thumbs tucked under the straps of their back packs--pure hilarity. Glad the ticket scalper pointed them out to us. Here's a picture of some kids pre-arrested, post dumping out their grinder.



5. I came up with this after #4 and didn't feel like re-numbering although i just took as long to explain. The bees at the tailgate were INSANE. it was like a senior prank. Here's a bee trap we created out of mimosa cups:



3. I somehow got crucially lost during The Black Keys by looking to my left for 1.2 seconds and it took my approximately one thousand times that to find anyone I knew. Actually, I was completely lost the entire time at Merriweather. It's like a god damn labrinth and I had no map. not that maps make any sense.


4. Definitely danced with some girl's boyfriend for way too long. ya snooze ya lose, ho.

5. Adam called Deadmau5 "DEAD MOW FIVE" and it's still funny.

6. I woke up Sunday morning in my white sheeted bed with feet that looked like I had mud socks. FAIL.

7. Just realized I have two #5s and I'm not really sure what to do about it.

8. Laser shows at night in the woods are my new favorite thing to have ever happened. I am definitely changed. Ghostland Observatory is so gross.

For everyone who faked on freefest HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you seriously missed out.