For the Love of God, DO NOT GOOGLE IMAGE holoprosencephaly

Excerpt from our Gchat yesterday:

me:  want to hear an adorable song?  Peaches by Bob Schneider

(this isn't Bob Schneider by the way--it's some kid's weird video)

 erica:  i think he has that tom cruise disease

 me:  ?   Scientology?

 erica:  the front tooth in the middle

 me:  whaaaaaaat

i know not of this

 erica:  tom cruise's front tooth is in the middle

 me:  HAHA shut up show me

Erica then emails me this:

 me:  i. am . dying     i have to get up

 me:  what on earth

that is bananas

why 

is that a disease or just a misaligned upper jaw

 erica:  its some hereditary thing

 Sent at 3:33 PM on Monday

So then I google holoprosencephaly.  And then I make the incredibly poor decision to google image holoprosencephaly   I mean, go ahead, do it...but I warned you.  It's probably better than google imaging harlequin babies.  You're welcome for both.  Thanks Erica--for all the creepy shit in my work laptop internet history.

Wrinkle Cream is Seriously Expensive

A man at a bar bought me a beer = 5 points

Then told me I looked like Jennifer Lawrence...I don't care if it is untrue, my LIFE IS NOW COMPLETE = 1,000,000 points

He then guessed that I was 29...LIFE IS OFFICIALLY OVER...investing drinking budget into wrinkle cream = negative 2,000,005 points.  fuck. my. entire. life.