Duck...Duck...Asshole!

Geese are seriously such assholes. I’m pretty sure most people can recall one of those quintessential childhood moments where you’re feeding the ducks and some aggressive ass goose comes up and gets all buck with you and tries to steal your bread. No? Maybe that was just me, but I think we can still agree they are assholes.

The most recent [repeated] episode where I wanted to strap a bomb onto a goose and watch it explode while I laugh like a crazy person: having to stop my CAR for a WALKING GOOSE. Okay, GOOSE, you can FLY. You basically have a super power. But you‘ve got the nerve to freaking waddle slowly across four lanes of traffic, nearly causing multiple rush hour accidents cuz Pam Anderson Mc‘PETA driving in front me feels the need to escort you going 2mph across the four lane road. I hate you and I hope I’m the first car next time to show up your stupid ballsy goose self.  It will be well worth the body damage.