I decided october was going to be the month I went on my first online date. I took the first suitor who was the least creepy.
phone number: his number had his name included, on purpose. ex: 98m-ich-ael1. he was proud of this. i laughed so hard, directly at him, i had to really put effort into getting it together.
Date plan: in the interest of time, schedule changes, and a beautiful day we changed our tuesday afternoon hh date at Boardroom to me driving him to a park by his house, so we could sit outside and drink bourbon and eat trail mix. i was pretty excited about the plan b date transition. basically probably my low end dream date on paper.
highlights from my first online date include, but are not limited to:
wrist brace: if it's not from an injury you sustained saving a baby from a tiger, take it off man.
hobbies: i light heartedly asked some cliche questions to get the date rolling (because either he was real nervous or just doesnt talk), like "ok let's do hobbies, what are your hobbies?" his response: "i just took the bar exam." using "bar exam" to impress girls as a hobby is weird. and unimpressive. i took an online quiz today that was more interesting than your bar exam, thanks erica: Can You Read People's Emotions?
no meat man: as a longtime vegetarian, and current most of the week vegetarian, i was interested in why he chose a vegetarian diet. i figured this would be a great conversation topic. his first canned answer "well currently i am a vegetarian to do my part in promoting a sustainable blah blah world blah blah blah falling asleep bla bla" so i ask, well why did you become a vegetarian in the first place? "i was really anorexic and bulimic and it was a good cover" *that's how that conversation ended. really.
date history: he was very forthcoming with information on the tons of other online dates he goes on. all of these were first date recap info blurbs: one girl had an std she just could NOT get rid of.. one girl was really mean to him about being a vegetarian...one didn't want to have kids...one he gathered wouldn't be that affectionate...one showed up, as he whispers ::::stoned::::
talking: he asked me nothing about me, other than where do i work and where did i go to college. seriously. nothing. he talked about himself, a lot, and almost entirely just in response to me carrying the conversation.
qualified compliments: he told me i was prettier than the other girls he goes on dates with. while i guess there was a compliment in there somewhere, i just gathered that i could do better. much. much. better.
game: we'd planned on going to boardroom to play games and not eat food which sounded stupid, so he brought his game to the park where we moved our date. we played gobblet which is a surprisingly fun tic tac toe game. He won the first game without really instructing me how to play, because he clearly had planned on just impressing me with game ass-kickings. When I beat him the next six times in a row, he was visibly not pleased and went on some rant about whoever goes first clearly has the advantage. we stopped playing. he said he was cold, and the date ended with a hug that i was not mad at.
over all date: he was fine...but it was boring. i'm glad i cracked my online dating seal.
cons: poor loser, wrist brace wearer, boring, too many issues up front which makes me really wonder about the ones he's saving for later.
pros: i did not end up in a bathtub full of ice, i did not get roofied.
